Over the years I have gone through many phases with my hair. As I child I had long, thick, heavy natural hair that no one wanted to braid. So, my only care options were a press and go. As I teen, I cut my hair to shoulder length and tried perms, but my hair often rebelled. It took years before a perm would fully ‘take’, but even than I was not satisfied because my hair looked weak and damaged. In my twenties, I began to cut my hair every two to three years into a chin length bob. I would occasionally allow it to grow longer, but cut it off again due to damage. And finally at the end of 2003 my perm journey ended with a big chop.
I will admit that taking care of natural hair is not easy. There are many awkward stages as your hair grows. And there were a few times when I went back to my old routine of a press and go because I couldn’t think of what else to do with my hair. My hair grew back, as it always does, but once again I found myself unhappy with the look of my hair due to heat damage. And out of frustration, I did another big chop. This time, I swore off using any heat and restricted the type of products that I used on my hair.
I’m not sure if it was because I was more mentally prepared. Or if with being older I had more patience. Because this time around, I fell in love with my hair. Every kink and every coil. I even enjoyed the challenge of finding styles to work through those awkward growing stages. I will confess that I loved my hair the most at its shortest and after a few years had to force myself to allow it to grow. But even then, I loved it still.
As my hair continued to grow, it became harder to maintain a weekly hairdo because of my active lifestyle. And at that point I refused to consider another big chop. Happily, the solution to my dilemma presented itself in the form of locs. My loc journey, just as my natural hair journey, was one of love and acceptance of my hair. And as a result, my hair grew, even surpassing the length of my childhood. For a little over seven years, I nurtured my locs but as they grew longer and I grew older caring for them become a chore. I began to have dreams of cutting my hair. Similar to when I did my second big chop and soon realized that my loc journey had come to an end.
As a birthday present to myself, I cut my hair and I love it. I feel a renewed sense of freedom that I haven’t felt in years. Whether I grow my hair long again or leave it as it is…who knows. I’ll just do what feels right for me. And at the moment, I don’t for see my hairstyle changing any time soon.
Until next time,
I Am Madeline Holt 
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